"DisEase"

 Coming soon...

//SpasZ SonnE TM

"Shadow"

”Shadow"


I can feel it running out-side.

I run out!

The trees remain still, yet leaves whirling all around.

---In a warm breeze.

The road,
“Red”
Course---but fine as 100 little rocks under my new skin with each step.

Up-
The Hill was the direction I was going.
(No reason why)
But not quite a feeling...
Now,
No leaves around-
Nor, on the ground.
The wind still churning---Half way up the road.
Still, No feeling I can describe,
Just cold sweat running through me.
I pause, but only for a moment.

A shape like a shadow---and I trust it.
A dog---But, not what I would expect.

Altered,
Trotting horizontally across the road (similar to an alligator it reminded me) with an elongated beak.
Never looking at me. I can see it today, as bright as it happened. It too paused half way across the road. As I took a step, not one I thought through, but one towards this “Shadow”.

An egg shaped rock rolled under my more mature foot. I picked up the egg shaped rock with intent to try to scare it off. It struck it's head. Then, the shadow moved all of the way across the road.

Unreal,
It looked toward me...For how could I not see...This must be a dream!
It's head now facing towards me, now...seemed normal. No depth to the length of its elongated snout.

(“Nicodemus” it resembled, my older Sisters dog who had hung himself attached to the dog-run and jumped the fence two weeks ago. A black lab he was.)

It's mouth opened as I could see one-hundred sharp teeth staring straight at me---Followed by a roar, only so intense It wasn't a sound. Only something I could feel through me, including the leaves. The sound so violent, rattled the reaming leaves off the their limbs.

Frozen and vibrated-
Defeated.
I feel liberated-Heroic?---

Defending my home against such a beast.
But did not think....
That there was more to this,

Tamed?

---At the least.

(I could NOT have known)

//SpasZ SonnE TM

No One

No one
Lights in the dark to light my path
Dark to the door, there is no math
No one
Something is rushing to get me,
No light left from someone, to let me see
No one
To the door---unwelcoming
Not a light, without holding it for me
No one
Sleep for shelter which I provide
I can't get away, or even hide
No one
Then I scream
They scramble, and try and save me
"No one"

//SpasZ SonnE TM

Emulation

This feeling,
A natural rush
A haunting memory, silenced...
You were supposed to die.
To end the ringing inside
My last hope and wish,
To kill this feeling.
-To see you in my dreams...
To-make-them-mine.
The darkness-
---To keep you safe,
To only see light.
Change my memories;
Deep---Keep them closer to me.
Never look for my sins
For none are morals,
Nor bad,
Not even sadness.
My memory full of holes,
A life,
A delusion,
A poison... 
Only to-
Emulate a feeling-
I could never feel,
...But this emulation is real.

//SpasZ SonnE TM

The Cold & Silence

Sadness overtakes me
Wishing tomorrow,
Will let me see.
Happiness is all I dream of,
Wondering if there is such a thing;
as love...
Cast away the shadows,
That hold in the light---
If tomorrow, I can see,
Shall it be too bright?
All alone...
Is all I can feel!
---There's not a single emotion in me, that's real.
The sickness in my veins,
Caused from the Cold and Silence 
of this place...
Can't pay the bill,
To fix my body,
That's supposed to feel.
As I think of everyone,
Are my wishes and dreams done?
Does anyone think of me?
---When i'm away, "never", is all I can see.
Can happiness actually strike me?
Right now, all of this, is all I will ever be. 

//SpasZ SonnE TM

-[My Mind]-

---This never-ending mind---
This slow decay of time---
Happiness, one day
I shall find. 
[End]

//SpasZ SonnE TM

-][-Mein Alles-Nein-][-

"Never---
I know you love me...
I know I love you...
---You fucked up the chance I gave you;
...And I forgive you...
I still love you...
-Never?
I don't understand...

//SpasZ SonnE TM